Georgia on my mind: “My celebrities can beat up your celebrities: A ballad for Hulk Hogan and Amy Grant, and Andrew Groves went to Purdue University”



The Tourists opened up a three game series against the Augusta Greenjackets with a thrilling 12th inning victory thanks to Warren Schaeffer’s game winning double. As I try to go through hours and hours of talking and talking trying not to sound redundant on the broadcast (how many times can I say that Andrew Groves went to Perdue University without that getting old? 5? 10? 15? Please let me know) I will occasionally drop some irrelevant statistics. However some numbers do not lie and should be weighed more than others. With that in mind it should be noted that Schaeffer is batting .308 with runners in scoring position including five doubles and seven RBIs.

perdue.jpgNow it is early in the season (Andrew Groves GRADUATED Purdue by the way) and with a small sample size that might not say much, but it is more impressive for a player with a limited role to get those chances and come through time and time again. So, Warren Schaeffer (to the tune of that old Budweiser commercial) “This BLOGS for you.”


So here the team is in Augusta Georgia mostly famous for the Masters golf tournament and being the hometown of recently deceased pop superstar James Brown.

 As the Tourists march from city to city this summer let us match up the famous residents of Asheville versus those of other cities (Andrew Groves knows people who got drafted out of PURDUE into the NFL, FYI) .


JB.jpgSo a play-by-play of city celebrity wrestling action would look something like this:


WHO CAN MATCH UP AGAINST JAMES BROWN? The Godfather of Soul comes out swinging a Grammy at any challengers, egging on the Asheville locals with his trademark yelping.


(Andrew Groves pitched at Perdue, not IUPUI, THE PURDUE UNIVERSITY!)


Asheville counters with sports Superstar and former Tourists bat boy Roy Williams –  A couple of Grammy trophies are no match for Roy’s NCAA championship nets and Williams manages to get Brown caught like a fish in an uncut plastic six pack coca-cola holder. EDGE ASHEVILLE


(Andrew Groves, had a 3.4 GPA at Purdue, did ya hear?)


Wait out from nowhere Roy can hear the tune “I am a real American” and Augusta native Hulk Hogan issues his signature leg drop, while Amy Grant another Augustonian sings a washed up version of “Baby Baby to take down Roy. EDGE Augusta.


Ashville will counter with soon to be superstar centerfielder Cameron Maybin and they keep the heavy hitting celebrities such as Vanderbilt fresh for the next bout against Columbus. Maybin takes care of business dealing with the Hulkster and Amy Grant with one swing of the bat. Overall Edge – Asheville


So in conclusion, hitting with runners in scoring position is key, Andrew Groves went to Purdue (Did you know Purdue is the Ivy League of the Midwest?) and Roy Williams and Cameron Maybin could totally take out James Brown, Hulk Hogan and Amy Grant.  


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